ANTIFUCK

In lieu of an actual post about anything, I'm now using Antifuck as my personal scrap book of ideas, which are contained in the following copy-paste of an entirely ordinary (for me) chat. I think the following insults everyone from germans to dinosaurs but hey, i find it funny and i'm too tired to find the "log chat" feautre. You may notice I get more insulting as I go along - this is because this conversation stretches across a number of hours and it is currently 2:15 am and I'm so tired the people next door fell into narcoleptic comas from my sheer proximity. For those of you who are wondering, the thing with the qp and db are my attempts to align them in 2 lines to make an ASCII 4-leaf clover. Blogspot decided not to register the spaces. What actually happens is that i get increasingly close, the last 2 attempts having the bottom line 1 space too far to the left and right respectively. I know I could've done it the way my friend did, but I was enjoying myself damnit!

Obscu: i emerge victorious, no molestation required
Brappa: Keybopard?
Obscu: usb keyboard
Brappa: you cheater.
Obscu: ^_^
Obscu: tomorrow i go to city and download voice rec software
Obscu: http://www.xkcd.com/528/
Brappa: Dad installed it on the laptop.
Obscu: hitler?
Brappa: I haven't checked it out yet.
Brappa: yes
Obscu: i just tried logging into msn messenger with @hitler.com
Brappa: Didn't work?
Obscu: yes, and a message came up saying that it auto-corrected my spelling because confusing hotmail with hitler is a common mistake
Brappa: :D
Brappa: Why am I not actually surprised?
Obscu: that one's going onto my page-long list of comics i'm yet to draw
Brappa: :D
Obscu: i shall name it GIATT
Obscu: short for Good idea At The Time
Brappa: Could be good.
Obscu: the webcomic, that is
Obscu: yes
Obscu: and the first page/front cover will be 3 people, very drunk, dressed as a viking, a ninja and a pirate respectively, jousting, with wheeled ducks instead of horses
Obscu: a 3 way joust
Brappa: Viking looses.
Obscu: just to illistrate my title: at some point, that seemed like a fucking awesome idea to someone
Brappa: Picard wins.
Obscu: rofl
Obscu: or just a ninja and a pirate, but i want them both to be wearing viking helmets
Brappa: I can dig it.
Obscu: i don't think anything fits "a good idea at the time" more than that
Brappa: Probably not.
Obscu: http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1316
Brappa: Breat pits!
Obscu: breat? :P
Brappa: Sorry.
Brappa: *Brett
Obscu: i think you're having reverse freudian slips
Brappa: :D
Obscu: good thing my name's not brett
Brappa: :D
Brappa: Or what, I'd be swimming in a pool of you?
Obscu: more like mining for me down a tunnel
Obscu: not to be confused with mining me in my tunnel
Obscu: a direction in which i do not swing
Obscu: now that i've gotten back into DnD, i feel like re-reading DM of the Rings
Brappa: You do that.
Obscu: it is freaking awesomesauce hilarious
Obscu: i suggest you do so as well regardless of DnD
Brappa: I started last year, but it didn't have me gripped

* Obscu gasps
Obscu: HERESY!
Brappa: :p
Brappa: The other day i had a Sausage and Mash Potato Taco.
Obscu: whoa
Obscu: that is going in my comic
Obscu: just on its own
Obscu: a 1-panel
Brappa: It was so fucking awesome!
Brappa: PB&J is actually really good.
Brappa: God damn.
Brappa: This whole episode of Doctor Who has been a build up to the song Here Ocme the Drums.
Obscu: i like where this thread is going
Brappa: This show delivers the weird.
Obscu: what about the wacky? does it deliver the wacky? the weird is like a 2-horned triceratops without the icing on the dinosaur cake which is the wacky
Brappa: It is probable that that is the greatest similie ever!
Brappa: Also it occasionally does.
Brappa: Still haven't seen any zany though.
Obscu: oh the huge manatee!
Obscu: lightning volcano!
Obscu: seaking fuck yeah!
Obscu: http://ifightrobots.com/
Obscu: http://ifightrobots.com/?p=186
Obscu: http://www.cracked.com/article_15963_5-works-art-that-can-probably-kill-you.html
Brappa: And I'm back!
Brappa: Holy fuck I want an AC/DC Robot!
Brappa: BALROG!
Obscu: :P
Brappa: Just checking.
Obscu: checking what?
Brappa: If you were a bear.
Obscu: i am a bear riding a motorcycle on a highwire
Brappa: Quick get the lion cavelry!
Obscu: whilst an indian woman suspended in a harness below me cracks her flaming nunchucks at the lion cavalry
Brappa: Noooo!
Obscu: the lion is playing a tesla guitar as well
Brappa: What song?
Obscu: eye of the tiger
Brappa: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Obscu: with chorus of "Seaking, fuck yeah!" interspersed in it
Brappa: :|
Obscu: what?
Brappa: South park canadian face.
Obscu: lawl?
Brappa: Yes.
Brappa: LAwl.
Obscu: was that a shift-hold or are you making an obscure reference to los angeles?
Obscu: that reminds of me escape from LA, the only movie kurt russel wasn't too square-jawed to star in
Brappa: Can't is be both?
Obscu: hrm
Obscu: i don't know
Obscu: arbitrary references to kurt russel could go either way
Obscu: for inst5ance, whoever made the decision to cast him as jack o'neil in the stargate movie needs to be turkey-slapped with a ravenous symbiote
Brappa: I finished Stargate Atlantis today.
Brappa: IT makes me so fucking depressed.
Obscu: i want it. all of it. i will stargate marathon liek tehre is no tomorow... and there will not only be no tomorrow, but no next month beczause i wont move from my seat
Obscu: THERE IS NO GRAMMAR THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
Brappa: :D
Brappa: There is also no Peter.
Obscu: egads!
Obscu: there was someone named peter?!
Brappa: Peter Giffon.
Brappa: *Griffon.
Obscu: NO GRAMMAR!
Obscu: because i spelt because with a z
Brappa: NO PUNCTUATION
Obscu: ZERO PUNCTUATION!
Brappa: YOURE USING PUNCTUATION STILLL
Obscu: AND YOUR USING GFRAMMERSISMS!
Brappa: NO YOU
Obscu: microsoft spellcheck offered these solutions for GFRAMMERSISMS: hitler, jetpack, laser, velociraptor, darth vader
Brappa: ARE YOU SURE TAHTS NOT THE XKCD SPELL CHECK
Obscu: LIER!
Brappa: NO IM NOT
Obscu: YOU ARE NOT FOR THE BIG!
Brappa: BECAUSE I ONLY TAKE THESE TROOPSESSES HERE
Obscu: SMELLY BOY!
Brappa: OUR DICHOTOMY OPENS THE BATTLE
Obscu: FUCK YOU THAT'S THE LINE I WAS GONNA USE NEXT!
Brappa: :d
Brappa: I CAN TOUCH MY SMILEY NOSE
Obscu: db MY SMILEY NOSE'S DICHOTOMY OPENS THE COMBAT!
Obscu: qp
db I FOUND A FOUR LEAF CLOVER OF +5 TO ESKIMO SMITING!
Obscu: awww fuck
Obscu: qp
db
Obscu: rp
bd
Brappa: :D]
Obscu: qp
blp
Obscu: fuck you
Obscu: qp
db
Obscu: fuck me.
Obscu: qp
db
* Obscu cries
Brappa: .
qp
db
Obscu: at least my aim isn't that bad in bed
Obscu: you know what? fuck you and the horse you rode in on
Brappa: I am so much more awesome than that.
Brappa: I rode in on whores.
Obscu: fuck you abd the whore you rode in on!
Obscu: a d
Obscu: and
Brappa: And then beat up their pimps because they didn't pay me.
Obscu: ti sleeo wuth gyour whorrs?
Obscu: LOOK AT ME I CAN SPEAK WELSH
Brappa: Rofl.
Obscu: that's the most fucked up language
Obscu: it's like rocky balboa and the terminator got together and decided that vowels were for pussies
Obscu: so (it took me 6 tries to find the o) they decidwed that every vowel would be preplaced with y
Brappa: But they are.
Obscu: reaplcesd
Obscu: replaced
Obscu: whyt yry yyy tylkyng abyyt yyy bytch?
Obscu: looks very tolkeinish
Obscu: except welsh words are lnger than the average penis as well as having no vowels
Brappa: Like the average penis?
Obscu: urd, i addi,e the averagme penisg ahve no vowels
Brappa: Ummm.
Obscu: urd = yes, addi,e = assume
Obscu: averagme = average
Obscu: u ciykd ubvebt a bew kabgyage bhy tyoubg tg=== uitge darj
Obscu: wgia
Obscu: wgia*
Obscu: whoa*****
Obscu: i think i just invented a new language
Brappa: Mispesh?
Obscu: WTF'nese
Obscu: looking back over the history of t his chat, i'm nto sure that i don't have ADD
Obscu: i'm going to go drink some sugar whilst i think it over
Brappa: :D
Obscu: my superhero power is shooting velociraptors from my eyes
Brappa: You think you're better than me!?
Obscu: with my velociraptor shooting eyes? fuck yeah, seaking!
Brappa: Ah yes, but what is your super weakness?
Obscu: whores, bullets and welsh
Brappa: Funny, my super pwer is whoring Welsh bullets.
Obscu: and your super weakness is optically-ejaculated velociraptors?
Brappa: Nope
Brappa: Shop manequins
Obscu: either that or shooting lions from my eyes whilst the song eye of the tiger plays cosntantly from a point about 1 foot above my head.
Obscu: just to confuse the fuck out of everyone.
Obscu: my velociraptors use shop manequins as their loyal steeds
Brappa: That is very 'steedish'
Obscu: yes, because they're bought from ikea
Obscu: or steedish. i thought you said swedish
Obscu: velociraptors riding manequins. what WONT the swedes do?
Brappa: Fat chicks?
Obscu: even fat guys wont do fat chicks. hell, jabba the hut had princess leia in a gold bikini as his toy
Brappa: Fucking Jabba!
Brappa: He gets all the hot chicks.
Obscu: Bantha Poodoo!
Brappa: And cool freaks with tenticles on their head
Obscu: twilek table dancers
Obscu: love handles pre-installed
Brappa: The Doctor is about to crash the cruiseship titanic into buck palace.
Obscu: huzzah!
Obscu: does it look like an iceberg made of deer?
Brappa: Umm.
Brappa: No.
Brappa: It's buckingham palace.
Obscu: even better!
Obscu: but now i must go. I have letters to finish, and sleep to get
Brappa: What are you? a fag?
Obscu: a velociraptor-shooting being who is now uberate-based rather than carbon-based
Brappa: Fair enough.
Obscu: which is probably why someone took a pickaxe to my back
Obscu: mining for uberate
Brappa: :D
Obscu: and this conversation has come full circle
Brappa: Sorry about that.
Obscu: ... i knew it!
Obscu: slut
Brappa: Well at least now I know you're not a bear
Obscu: that's what you think, muahahahahahahaha
Obscu: i mean... grooaaaaaaaaargh
Obscu: i mean... yes.
Obscu: look over there! troopssesses!
* Obscu flees
Brappa: AAAAAAHHHHHH!
Brappa: Hey hey!
Brappa: I've finished season 1, 2 and 3
Brappa: So now I'm up to Blarg!
Brappa: How're your vowels?
Obscu: whyt vywyls?
Obscu: yyy pyssy!
Brappa: Byttyr thyn cynsynts
Obscu: fyggyt, yh?
Brappa: 'cause ya suck on bildge water you lilly livers trollop!
Obscu: shyvyr my tymbyrs, yyy'ry y vywyl-lyvyng lynd lybbyr!
Obscu: also, tis lilly-livered
Obscu: and bilge
Brappa: Except in bed.
Obscu: and i'm not quite sure how one would suck on water of any sort
Obscu: except in bed
Brappa: :D
Obscu: ^_^
Brappa: I can do something you can't do!
Obscu: suck water in bed?
Brappa: .
qp
db
Obscu: .
q[p db
Obscu: fuck you
Brappa: :D
Obscu: my 4 leaf clover of +5 to down syndrome
Brappa: just what i look for in a downie.
Brappa: not a clove rthough.
Obscu: a +5?
Obscu: a downie of +5 to sucking water in bed?
Obscu: now there's a magic item if i ever saw one. i shall recommend it to my DM who, knowing my luck, will have a downie family member and lose his sense of humour for the 10 seconds it takes to ban me from the server
Brappa: :D
Brappa: Enjoy!
Obscu: bitch
Brappa: You love it!
Obscu: like a love a fork in the eye. Oh boy i sure love a fork in the eye!
Brappa: There's a spoon in my ear!
Obscu: gpddamn what comic is that from again? i need to find it again
Brappa: Vgcats?
Obscu: sweet monkey potato hat!
Obscu: nah, loserz i think
Brappa: Spoon in the ear?
Obscu: and the monkey potato hat is classic chef brian from cad
Obscu: as is the spoon in the ear i think
Brappa: The Spoon in the ear is most cetainly from VGcats.
Obscu: hrm
Brappa: It's said by Dr. Hobo.
Obscu: or face is certainly from vg cats
Obscu: uout
Obscu: upir
Obscu: your
Brappa: You and that crazy language!
Obscu: i would make a snappy comeback, but anytime i say anything witty i make typos so bad they nullify my uberate. they are like my kryptonite
Brappa: Sucks to be you then.
Obscu: swallows and gargles to be you though
Brappa: Mine's a good comfy bed.
Obscu: speak not of manchester, heretic!
Brappa: http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=115
Brappa: http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=76
Obscu: when you spell hesitate as hestitate you know it's time to turn off the laptop and go have wet dreams for 9 hours
Brappa: That's easier said than done.
Obscu: says you!
Obscu: but i have 2 more letters to type
Brappa: To whom?
Obscu: and miles to go before i sleep
Obscu: and miles to go before i sleep
Brappa: :D
Obscu: yay robert frost references at 2am!
Brappa: Oh.
Brappa: :(
Obscu: what were you thinking?
Obscu: to my brother. i do his medical typing
Brappa: I thought you were referincing Tarantino.
Brappa: He uses that bit in Deathproof
Obscu: yeah, it's from a robert frost poem
Obscu: i studied it in yr 12
Brappa: I did a robert frost too.
Brappa: The path less traveled.
Obscu: aye, we did that one
Obscu: we did a lot of frost
Brappa: And Piano man.
Brappa: But that's not frost.
Obscu: our teacher was a very cheerful closet emo in a pink shirt, so we did a lot of frost
Obscu: no but it is an awesome song
Brappa: Indeed.
Obscu: were you there in le sing when that guy did an absolutely fucking awesometastic rendition of piano man?
Brappa: No.
Obscu: you should have been
Obscu: he was epic
Brappa: I was there when you failed at sonatra thoguh.
Obscu: i don't fail at sinatra thankyouverymuch :p
Brappa: Riiiight.
Obscu: and since you fail to spell sinatra, you fail doubly
Obscu: i think you got sinatra confused with sonata
Obscu: and came out halfway
Obscu: prairie-dogging your grammar
Brappa: Nah, i just don't pay that much attention to semantics, I'm too buisy jazzing out.
Obscu: jazz hands!
Brappa: So for rock you rock on.
Obscu: goddamn 2 more letters and then i sleep arghfaceheaddfeskoffireyhell
Brappa: What do you do for JAzz?
Obscu: i attack vans with my highly explosive forehead
Brappa: I see a flaw in your plan.
Obscu: argh back to typing the bed is calling my name. either that or the clown hiding under it who, in a stunning reversal of convention, i will molest in the dead of night
Obscu: i guess the victory was not sans-molestation after all
Obscu: FULL CIRCLE BITCHIZ
Brappa: Like in scary movie>
Brappa: ?
Obscu: yeah, like in scary movie
Obscu: but i'm not black
Brappa: Don't I know it.
Obscu: i'm not even sure if ba-doom tish goes in there or not
Obscu: dammit let me finish my typing and be off to bed i nee dto sleepz
Obscu: SLEEPZ WITH EHT EIFHGSEEHGDA!
Obscu: fishes*
Obscu: a common typo
Brappa: You need to work on that.
Obscu: man i'm so tired i'm getting lazy eye in the eye that i don't have lazy eye in
Obscu: beat that george lucas!
Brappa: Dark side!
Obscu: cookies!
Brappa: COOOOKIIIEEES!!!
Brappa: BBLALLLAAAAARRGHMEMMNMNN
Obscu: now now chewie...
Obscu: mmmm, chewey cookies
Brappa: RRRRRRRWWWRWRWRWRWRWRWR
Obscu: chewy*
Obscu: i can't believe you came up with an accurate spelling for a wookie roar. it even works.
Brappa: i KNOW!
* Obscu bows
Brappa: I am that good.
Obscu: i'd take my hat off to you, but my cat has stolen my hat and fallen asleep under it, and if i move my hat she will remove my testicles
Obscu: just like a woman
Obscu: what do i need another gf for when i get gf-level abuse from my pets?
Brappa: That's actaully a pretty good point.
Brappa: Still so damn wrong though.
Obscu: i can't believe i'm too tired to have gone there myself
Obscu: you sick bastard
Obscu: well, i have a lover for sex and cats for abuse... i guess i'm practically in a relationship
Brappa: No!
Brappa: Bad Marat!~
Brappa: No rapping animals!
Brappa: And no molesting the rapping animals!
Obscu: ewww, that's disguasting
Obscu: rapping animals. damn niggers
Obscu: oh no my cat is a nigger!
Brappa: Noooooo!
Obscu: and a rapper
Brappa: Double nooooo!
Obscu: no wonder she's been limping. she probably had a cat-cap buster in her ass
Brappa: Better see to that.
Obscu: now i need emotional fulfilment. i guess i can substitute money, as soon as my new job starts in february
Obscu: and then i shall be essentially in a relationship without a girlfriend
Brappa: Good plan!
Obscu: and without rapping cats
Brappa: You need the rapping cats.
Obscu: i prefer the non-rapping variety
Brappa: But hey're all like "Yo Dawg, I'm a cat.
Brappa: Yo.
Obscu: there are levels of abuse i will not tolerate, and living in the same house with any being that raps crosses the line like an ethiopian marathon-runner chasing a bucket of kfc
Obscu: i swear if you say yo again i swill beat you to death with your own hair :P
Brappa: Not the swill!
Obscu: the swill indeed!
Obscu: goddamn i'm still staring at a blank page
Brappa: Don't make me wookie roar at you.
Obscu: oh noes
Brappa: Get to work!
Obscu: you know what might actually be cool?
Obscu: wookie rap
Obscu: wookie roars to a beat
Brappa: It'd all be the sae sylable
Brappa: *same
Obscu: so?
Brappa: Good point.
Obscu: it'll still be better than both rap and vista
Brappa: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=1wg_L0wGTyA
Obscu: capped, dude
Brappa: :D
Obscu: no youtubing
Brappa: Oh gay!
Obscu: very
Obscu: so camp lawrence of arabia joined the kkl specifically to lynch it
Brappa: KKL?
Brappa: I need a drink.
Obscu: klu klux lolz
Obscu: like the kkk but with a typo that i saved with my ingenuity
Obscu: a gay drink?
Brappa: Just no to both of your sentences.
Obscu: just yes to bed!
Obscu: i am off!
Obscu: even my laptop is tired - lagging
Obscu: to sleep, perchance to dream
Brappa: Enjoy the fap attack.
Obscu: 6q6!
Obscu: byebyes
Brappa: Bai!