Dear Antifuckers,
This, my break from writing a highly ambigious essay for Anthropology will be dedicated to sharing with you some utterly worthless pieces of information.
*Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
Now, I assume this is a broader step executed by our dolphin friends to further become human; as we all know dolphins are one of only 2 non-human creatures on earth who have sex for pleasure and as such keeping one eye open while sleeping must double as an ability to perv on other dolphins as well as survival etc etc.
*The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
Nuff said...
*Somehow, an iguana can end its own life.
My sincerest apologies to our emo colleagues, a small scaled creature who can also grow its tail back has beaten you to the goal in regards to the installation of a 'self-end' command...and it didn't even need a sharp object let alone any object at all...neat ey?
*A mule won't sink in quicksand but a donkey will.
As such, when faced with a choice between an animal that could possibly be the most stubborn of all the domesticated creatures and a similarly tempered one who is sterile-evaluate whether you shall be encountering any quicksand on your journey to work and choose wisely.
*The typical hen lays 19 dozen eggs a year.
I can now relate to my vegetarian friends who regard egg eating as murder, let's do the mathematics shall we?
Assuming the avergae caged hen on a normal egg farm is alive for 3 egg-laying years, then it would lay:
(19 x 12) x 3
= 228 x 3
= 684 eggs
Multiply this by the average hen population in that normal
egg farm is about 500 on a small scale local establishment.
We also assume that 50 of them at any one time will not lay:
228 eggs per year x 450 hens
= 102,600 eggs
A very basic guess as to how many hens there are in the World who are laying
and having their eggs taken away from them...lets say 1 Million?
102,600 x 1,000,000
= 102,600,000,000
It's chickencide I tell you...
In summary,
*Don't go swimming with the dolphins, especially in tight swimwear
*Keep away from the giant squid; if possible direct its attention to the dolphin and they'll have a staring competition,
*If you're an emo, befriend an iguana and learn the ways of self-kill without using sharps and therefore not making a mess,
*Forego the donkey and choose the mule,
*Lay off the eggs...
Sigh...one should always appreciate puns...
Mina...
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2 comments:
HA HA HA! A good and entertaining read to help me procrastinate from my assignments. :)
I've never would have connected dolphins with voyeurism...
hahah maybe we are more closer to dolphins than you know it lol voyeurism is so in at the moment. Hahah enough said... back to my assessment =_= where is an iguana when you need one....
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